Reclaim Your Life As A Spiritually Constipated Overthinker In 5 Steps

#WordsOfWisdom for Overthinkers to Stress Less

Most people are spiritually constipated, and the rest are mentally constipated. None of us recognize it, mainly because we are unaware. Thankfully, I was so painfully backed up that I exploded uncontrollably and randomly enough times to help others like you prevent such messiness.

Symptoms and signs of constipation include infrequent bowel movements, hard or lumpy stools, straining during bowel movements, feeling of incomplete evacuation, abdominal discomfort, swelling or distension, nausea, loss of appetite, pain, discomfort, and even bleeding.

Spiritually, that means predictably praying with no supplication and speaking solely to protect others' feelings. On the rare occasion that you confidently speak honestly, it feels forced or awkward and makes you question right and wrong, tone and delivery, and other things that don't matter in your original intent. Other times, you feel like you overshared and still weren't understood, or the one I hate the most — realizing the better way to say it after the fact. You find yourself saying things like, "I should have listened to my gut," and "I have to get this off my chest before I explode, crash, self-destruct, etc." Worse, you spend days, weeks, or even years thinking about all the things you did wrong to the point of sickening shame, tearful sadness, or self-destructive anger. An evident and underrated sign and symptom of spiritual constipation is a disinterest in your "daily bread," which, for Christians, is the word of God in your studies and conversations. Though therapy can help in each previous stage, a healthy gym regimen, physicians visit, and more need to be considered when you are so spiritually constipated that you have unexplainable headaches and pain in your body, are sluggish, and feel stuck, especially if you are fearful of your life in ways that you never were before. The phrase "leading when bleeding" comes to mind when I think about that last one. You're in a position to have it all, but most days, you feel like you're in the worst season of your life.

Spiritually, that means predictably praying with no supplication. You confidently speak honestly and makes you question. You feel like you overshared and still weren’t understood, realizing the better way to say it after the fact. You find yourself saying things like, “I should have listened to my gut,” and “I have to get this off my chest before I explode, crash, self-destruct, etc.” Worse, you spend days, weeks, or even years thinking about all the things you did wrong . A sign of spiritual constipation is a disinterest in your “daily bread.” You have unexplainable headaches, pain in your body, lethargic, feel stuck. You’re in a position to have it all, but most days, you feel like you’re in the worst season of your life.

Mental constipation is less common because most people are not spiritually grounded, informed, or interested and live in a default state of spiritual constipation. When the world is only as big as your life (family, friends, community, and self) and not more significant than you (God, Universe, World, future generations), there's nothing to get off your chest, and you generally have little to lead. For the lot of us living for tomorrow on a great day, in the moment on a good day, and focused on the past for the rest of the time, I implore you to consider more, though I can't judge whatever season you are in. I've been there.

By this definition, mental constipation looks like a limited perspective bothered by the unexplainable idea that there is more than this. You can't be more debaucherous or disciplined. You have everything or can't see yourself with more, and the idea that you control everything or are to blame for everything defines your existence. You think you're the only realist or are ignorantly optimistic about everything. Making decisions is always an issue, whether the act or the time spent after replaying all the possible scenarios. Being disconnected from everyone and everything or being so connected to the world that you can't recall the last time you put yourself first. Maybe you unexplainably have more frequent brain farts. You and people around you think you're just "full of it," you're always "OTBS'n" (Over There Bull Stooling), randomly have explosive — even messy — diarrhea of the mouth, or got a load of crap to unload. People make you sick or are - in some of the scariest times of my life — sick of time with yourself and your sober thoughts, often doing whatever to make sure you are distracted or influenced. A much more literal loss of appetite comes into play as a result of mental constipation — which, unfortunately, maybe your depression sinking its hooks in as a real issue to seek intentional help with versus the natural sad seasons of life that come and go. Of course, pain, discomfort, and bleeding of any kind from stress or darker thoughts is a grave matter, and I pray you seek help — again, saying this from relatable experience, never condemning judgment. Please give it a bit more time.

Mental constipation is less common. Mental constipation looks like a limited perspective bothered by the unexplainable idea that there is more than this. Making decisions is always an issue. A much more literal loss of appetite comes into play as a result of mental constipation — which, unfortunately, may be your depression sinking its hooks in.

While I have driven home the constipation analogy, I hope that I have also driven home the severity of letting this issue continue to fester. Physical constipation can mature into much worse than bleeding, and spiritual or mental constipation is the same. Now that we understand what's going on, there's excellent news.

Constipation has so many cures to match the different levels of severity you are experiencing. Some of us need more water, veggies, and exercise. Others require an old-fashioned concoction of spices and a shot of espresso. You may need medicines; even if that is not potent enough, professionals worldwide can cure your physical constipation. Additionally, there are so many ways to heal and reverse the effects of spiritual and mental constipation.

1. Close your mind. — Ted Talks, Self Help books, Alcohol, Weed, and hallucinogens may have served you in the past. Still, they crowd your mind, distract your thoughts, and prevent you from finishing anything that takes time, like gaining experience, wisdom, or meaningful relationships. No one would tell you to clog your body, but you must stop eating so much now. Don't pick up a Sudoku habit. Right now is not the time to start a new streak on Duolingo. You need to practice minimalism and intermittent fasting, which are just for this season.
2. Clear your mind. — Yes, spiritual constipation is the more significant issue, but for the vast majority of us, our bodies and minds are so needy that there is no room for us to tend to our souls. Practically, I mean build a routine based on physical health and mental release. Join a gym or running club. Buy an Apple Watch or Peloton. Find a local track and make a friend. Do anything to build accountability into it — this is the one time I openly encourage shame. Next, devote time to your mental clarity. You learned to sweat out the excess, and now you need to write, paint, sew, sculpt, sing, or photograph the mental blockages out. A therapist is fantastic. Support groups work for all my manly men reading this. None of that goes home with you. You need something you will happily bring on the eventual vacation you plan to take.
3. Clear your schedule. — Sleep regularly. Mind your Sabbath. The additional 16 minimum hours you have after 8 hours of sleep, 6 days a week + 24 hours of Sabbath & 80 potential work hours give you plenty of time for yourself. That gym membership should come with 10 minutes in the shower or sauna, 30 minutes in the pool or stretching, or even an hour on a rowing machine with headphones daily. Meditation, journalling, daily stretching, and the like are all possible. If you have kids, you must be more intentional with your time. Cut the streaming service, gaming, and all extracurriculars unless it's with the kiddos or date night. Imagine your dad claiming he did not have enough time to game or catch up on his shows. I know you can't, and none of us are so much more evolved — it's time to grow up. #NoteToSelf
4. Join an intentional community—church, finance professionals group, book club, go-back-to-school, and networking hub—as long as it encourages closeness to God, mental growth, and/or financial freedom because you have already joined a gym to improve your fitness. Bonus points if your hobby can earn you money, like gaming or bringing you around the world, like foodie culture, comic convention life, travel-related groups, and wildlife enthusiasts. (If you have not noticed, the goal is to share the load. We must go through so much alone, but we are all connected. On the other side of that coin, you have to earn your pleasure. Grand Theft Auto 6 is for kids and adults with no debt, owned homes and cars, fully funded savings accounts, and family benefits unless Grand Theft Auto 6 pays you to play)
5. Learn how to relieve yourself. — Potty training is helpful for most of our lives, so why don't we ever get general potty etiquette for spiritual and mental relief?

While I would love to go into conspiracy theories about psychological population control and government-sanctioned mind control, the most straightforward answer here is selling pills and letting the mentally weakened kill each other off in the name of Darwinism. Regardless of where you stand, you can value consistent check-ins with friends: schedule lunch, dinner, game night, and even family trips. I have a tentative freestyle Friday going with a friend from high school. He's good at rapping but doesn't post. I publish, but my rap sucks. Getting things off your chest without judgment is necessary, whether good or bad. I write a theology-centric blog almost weekly to supplement the journal-making chore and remind myself what matters in the face of what the world wants us to prioritize. I try to paint. I plan to return to gaming after a third month of honoring the Sabbath. I meet with other believers on Saturdays to pray together.

While I'm still childless and not working 80 hours, I've found this all helpful, but I'll update you if things change.

Comment with thoughts or share this post with someone who needs the reminder. Clap if you find yourself meditating on something different and want more thoughts like this. Subscribe to receive weekly thoughts directly to your email and any other ideas I may have in the theology and self-development realm. I also have a Twitter/X with mostly basketball content.